Grand Royal Arch Chapter of Colorado Adopts Keystone Light as Official Beverage

Golden, CO – The Most Excellent Grand Royal Arch Chapter of Colorado has been making waves in the Masonic community by its decision to adopt the alcoholic beverage Keystone Light as their official beverage. Companions of Spirituous Chapter No. 5 Royal Arch Masons of Colorado cheered as kegs of brew arrived from the Molson Coors Brewing Company at the conclusion of their Most Excellent Grand High Priest Official Visit earlier this week.

 

Companion Joe Snow, Excellent High Priest of Spirituous Chapter, explained, “…most associate the Shrine with alcohol, but we’re here to tell the world that companions of the Holy Royal Arch can have fun too!”

 

When questioned about the Grand Chapter’s peculiar choice in beverage, a spokesperson for the Grand Chapter explained: “We are fully aware of the perception of the lack of quality of Keystone Light. We chose it knowing most brethren find it inferior to craft brews. We felt it only fitting that the ‘[Key]stone the builders rejected’ should be elevated to become the ‘capstone’ of all Colorado Royal Arch festivities.”

 

The Grand Chapter has high hopes that their announcement will boost chapter membership numbers and better publicize the Royal Arch across Colorado. A spokesperson for the Grand Chapter commented: “We are working out a deal with Molson Coors to drop Keystone Light’s blue packaging and bring the original, iconic red packaging that accompanied Keystone beer when it was first released in 1989 back home from exile.”

 

–Bro Dionysius Bacchus III
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