Phoenix, AZ–On Saturday, Freemasons from across the state of Arizona made a pilgrimage to Phoenix to the annual Grand Lodge Convocation to purchase overpriced Masonic swag, attend tedious meetings, usher in the next iteration of the progressive grand line and, perhaps most importantly, witness the Grand Master’s conferral of the “Hiram Award for Masonic Lifetime Achievement” on a worthy brother. Speculation as to this year’s recipient was a topic of hot debate leading up to the convocation, past recipients having included the likes of actor John Wayne, senator Barry Goldwater, and creator of the bolo tie James-Robert Peuderschmidt.
The hot debate over this year’s recipient turned to shock as Most Worshipful Joe Snow took the stage and announced that, this year, he would be conferring the Hiram Award on none other than the current Grand Master of Arizona–himself! “When it comes down to it,” MW Snow explained, “I realized that I have done more for Masonry than anyone in this jurisdiction–especially this year. I truly could not think of anyone more deserving to receive this award. Please join me in giving myself a hand!”
Brother Jim Johnson-Dreisenbock, Worshipful Master of Durka Durka Lodge in Douglas, AZ, expressed his support to The Past Bastard: “Frankly I’m surprised Most Worshipful hadn’t already received that award. Usually, our Grand Lodge Officers make it a habit to confer awards on fellow Grand Line members. While I had hoped that this year Most Worshipful would have bucked that trend by choosing a lesser Grand Line member like his Administrative Assistant or Official Photographer, I ultimately can’t argue with his choice.”
-SK Mason Burhmaster